
We're counting down to Christmas with 12 beers that resonate with the feel of the holiday. Some beers were nice; some beers were naughty. This is The 12 Beers of Christmas. Enjoy!
Pyramid Breweries in Portland, OR and Berkeley, CA
Occasionally on Christmas morning, you’ll get a present you remember forever. I think this feeling happens more when you’re younger, but it might happen when you get on in years, too. For me, the most memorable gift I received was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Thrower.
Considering the fears of parents these days, the Pizza Thrower is a gift that couldn’t exist today. It shot chunks of plastic that were sort of pizza-esque at an alarming speed. Much too dangerous in this lawsuit age. I spent the next six months shooting the handful of pizzas at the family dog, along with Shredder, Bebop and Rocksteady action figures. After six months, though, you lose all the pizzas. When we moved out of our old house, we thought we’d find them lodged in the carpeting or hidden underneath our sofas. Nope. To this day, some house in the Helena valley has little pizzas in the walls, under the carpet, or maybe the dog just ate them and, well, I guess they’re in the yard somewhere then.
I bring up this story because great toys can be like good beers. Memories get attached to certain beers, and you remember right where you were the first time you had a sip. Not more than three days ago, I tried the Snow Cap Winter Warmer from Pyramid Breweries with a bunch of friends. Sure, I took notes about the appearance, scent, and taste, but as I sit here three days later, I hardly remember even touching the beer. It apparently had a rather nice, caramel-walnut color to it and smelled slightly sweet and a tad hoppy. The taste wasn’t terrible, either, with a nice malty finish near the end, with not much more than a light dusting of hops in the beginning. It wasn’t terribly strong, and the mouthfeel was quite watery, or so the notes read. I wrote that it was a relatively easy-drinking, winter warmer.
But really, with all of the other 12 Beers of Christmas, I have remembered something about them without the notes. Whether it was the Seriously Bad Elf’s florishes of booze, or whether it was the Winter’s Bourbon Cask Ale’s forced vanilla flavor, I remembered something. I’m not asking for Snow Cap Winter Warmer to be my Pizza Thrower of beers. I’m not sure I’ll ever find that one, but I remember something from every Christmas gift I opened in the morning. From the Drew Henson #7 Michigan football jersey my grandfather got me in 2000, to the radio-controlled motorcycle I got years before that, I remember something. And with Snow Cap, it’s like it never existed at all. Maybe it will make your Christmas sparkle and memorable, but for me, it was nothing more than a chocolate Santa candy you see at the store. It might be fine at the time but it’s nothing you’ll think about a few days later.