Founders Brewing Co. in Grand Rapids, MI

This beer almost made my girlfriend throw up. So we’ll start with saying that this isn’t exactly the most stout-friendly beer. This is a beer for a stout lover and a stout lover only. Sure, you might think you’re a fan of dark beer, or maybe even a fan of thick stouts. But then you give the Founders Imperial Stout a taste, and it knocks you on your ass, spits on you, and kicks your ass again just because it’s bored. Right, it’s only 10.5% ABV, but still, I dare you to take on this beer and come out unscathed. It just won’t happen.

Pouring an almost unbelievably dark, used motor oil dark of all darks, the Imperial Stout was ready for a knife fight right out of the bottle. Smelling like a bastard child of burnt coffee grounds and a thick chocolate bar, the Imperial Stout put forth a two-finger, espresso-colored head that looked more than tempting. One sip told me that this was one thick motherfucker. If you have ever thought Guinness was a dark beer, this will make you think it’s mountain-chilled bottled water. Showing a thick malty flavor, you have to swallow this one twice to get the flavor off your tongue. But if you search, and you’re hearty enough to find the intricacies, this really is a sensual, warming and a wonderfully sexy beer. Yes, it’s a hearty, beefy chunk of malty stout goodness; however, this is a sexy beer that a beer would drink. A beer’s beer, if you will.

Dessert and a light session beer is all this one would be great for. Sure, I guess you could take a chance with drinking this with a meal, but it might laugh in the face of venison or sword fight a hunk of steak. For any seasoned stout master, this is a must-have. Don’t think this beer is a tease, though. I challenge you to take on this hardy brew and push your taste buds to the limit. You’ll either be happy you did, or you’ll never touch it again. The beer’s waiting. Go for it.